Wrestle

Here is a great poem written by John van de Laar that captures how we continue to wrestle with fears, doubts and all the pain and joy that goes into relationship building with each other and God. It is a reflection taken from the context of Genesis 32:22-31 where Jacob wrestles with God beside the Jabbok River before meeting his brother Esau.

Wrestling by John van de Laar

Following you is not as easy as it may seem at first, God;

Getting your ways into our hearts

is not a matter of just reading a few verses of the Bible,

or singing a few hymns;

No, to get your law inscribed on our inmost beings takes some wrestling;

It takes standing our ground when you come to us

in your fearful glory,

and carrying the mark of the encounter in our bodies and souls;

It takes prayer that is more than superstitious words

to try and manipulate circumstances or people,

but is a life-altering opening of ourselves,

that confronts and challenges us,

and makes us your instruments of justice and grace.

But if we are to live what we believe,

to go beyond empty words

or simple agreement with ideas or doctrines,

we need this wrestling;

If our lives are to be portals for your reign,

channels for your compassion and healing,

containers for your joy and abundance,

we need our hearts to be broken open,

our souls to be engraved with your words,

our bodies to be driven by something more than appetite.

And so we come, nervously but expectantly,

and offer ourselves to you again

in whole-hearted prayer and worship.